1- EDGY

---

A barrage of sirens, warnings, and other data flooded my vision. The g-force of the high-speed maneuver sent me flying back in my seat as we dodged the laser beams looking to slice us apart. I’d take that over the panicking and screaming behind me. Can’t say I blame them too much. Being ambushed by the most feared mafia in the EdgeWorlds will do that.

I shook my crimson hair out of my face as my flippers dug into the ship’s controls. I brought the craft around to face the ten starships approaching us. The colossal swirling sapphire blue gas giant I was just in orbit around loomed ahead. The enemy fighters were all the same design, sleek, jet-like and armed to the fucking teeth.

“What do we do!?” Todd asked from behind me, voice caked in panic.

“Relax Todd, I got this.”

“Relax!?” He squealed.

My flipper went to the holographic controls to reroute power to the weapons and thrusters. The minute I saw the command go through, I sent the ship into a high-speed charge; the force knocking me against my seat. My heart raced as I saw the dark green fighter-jet-like ships coming in.

The pods near the thrusters on the back flipped up, and I watched a fresh batch of armor piercing missiles activating. I checked the range of the twin laser cannons mounted on the bottom of my ship, The Vermillion. They were in range. I smirked and opened fire. Twin columns of blinding blue-white light collided with the enemy. In less than a second, the lasers tore through the craft, detonating it in a giant ball of light.

“Nice!” Jeff, the other passenger on my ship, said.

“See, nothing to worry about,” I said, turning back to them and smiling.

The main console beeped. I immediately regretted that statement when I spun around and saw the wall of missiles coming at us from the other nine ships.

“Okay, that might be something to worry about,” I said.

“We’re dead!” Todd screamed.

My remaining flares were nowhere near enough for all of that. I couldn’t shoot them all down either. I had another idea. I pulled back on the controls and flipped the crimson and black ship upside down until I was perpendicular with the asteroid belt and the large gray-white planetary rings below.

“What are you doing, bro?” Jeff asked.

“You don’t wanna know,” I muttered.

This was my last gamble, and a pretty risky one at that. I sent the Vermillion into a sharp dive. What I was about to do was nuts, even by my standards.

I activated the three turrets on the ship’s back to intercept missiles. A volley of explosions soon followed as the swarm slammed into the asteroids, shattering them and pelting us with dense rocks. The ship shook and bounced like a rollercoaster on steroids. I’m glad I strapped in for this one.

Many rockets survived the initial dive. Too many. I deployed my last remaining flares out in a V shaped cone away from me. That distracted some, but not enough. I spotted a dense cluster of asteroids ahead and made a beeline for them. Hyped up on adrenaline, I started laughing.

“Why are you laughing!?” Todd roared.

“Todd,” I began, turning to face him, “how many times have I done this?”

Todd got quiet and stared at me. “Fair point,” he said.

I lived for this shit.

As we reached the asteroids, several missiles crashed into them instead of us, but the shockwave still hit us and caused me to veer off course, right into a giant asteroid large enough to flatten an entire city. I forced us into a spinning dive. More rockets collided either with the rocks or each other.

“I’m gonna be sick!” Todd screamed.

“You better not throw up in here!” I shouted back, without looking at him.

Speaking of sick, I wasn’t feeling the greatest either and started coughing violently as I pulled up. That coughing had nothing to do with the intense space battle, although I’m sure that wasn’t helping. I tried to shake it off and look at the enemies’ positions versus ours. Half of their force flew into the asteroids after us. Only three of them remained. The mafia was not sending their brightest and best. The rest loomed above, likely repositioning to take potshots.

I wouldn’t give them that chance.

“Hang on!” I yelled.

“To what, bro!?” Jeff shouted.

I pulled back on the controls, flipping the ship again at high speed so the bottom swung forward and we were again vertical with our prey. I fired the twin lasers and a swarm of missiles into the three ships above. One evaded it. His buddies weren’t so lucky. With a thunderous boom, they erupted in a dazzling display, resembling a fireworks show.

Two of the enemy ships closed in behind us. I let momentum take the wheel as we did a complete three-hundred-sixty degree spin. When I aligned with the two pilots below, I fired the lasers again, ending them like the others.

“We almost got ‘em!” Todd said.

“And you almost didn’t wet yourself,” Jeff said, snickering.

“I did not!” Todd screamed.

We still had work to do. The last one in the belt was charging towards us for a head-on battle. I threw the Vermillion at him at full speed while upside down. Thankfully, the ship’s advanced targeting systems did the legwork for me because aiming while upside down at the speed we were at was almost impossible. I fired the two cannons, but I only grazed him and his shields deflected most of the damage.

I had another problem.

My chronic coughing decided now, of all times, to rear its ugly head. I coughed so hard that I released the controls. The excruciating pain in my chest had me thinking my lungs were about to explode through my ribs. It made me double over in my seat, feeling as if my entire windpipe was on fire.

“Watch out!” Jeff shouted.

I looked up. We were on a collision course with a massive asteroid. My blood ran cold and for a moment, my heart stopped. I grabbed the controls and pulled up. Not fast enough. The tip of the asteroid grazed the neck of the ship. Even with the harness, the impact shook me around in my seat as the entire craft trembled. I heard and felt it ripping into the vessel and shredding the outer armor. The hit sent us into a spin. I fired all the stabilizers I could to regain control, but we struck a smaller asteroid and bounced off it like a pinball. Something struck the bottom of the ship, making both laser guns explode. One word screamed inside of my head as my heart raced. Shit. We were about to collide with yet another asteroid. I fired the thrusters in the opposite direction and regained control. The sudden stop made us all fly sideways in our seats. Taking a second to catch my breath, I saw the full damage readouts.

My coughing fit just depleted our shields and cost me my cannons.

Just fucking great!

I saw a warning. The remaining four ships had regrouped and were coming at us like we owed them money. I owed them a lot more than that. I checked the rest of the ship. It wasn’t pretty, but she’d live.

“Do we still have insurance?” Todd asked.

If I was still paying for it, my monthly payments were about to skyrocket. Just what I needed.

“Come on, girl, we got this,” I muttered as I flipped the craft so we were upright.

I swore I heard the machine growl in response as the thrusters charged up for another quick burst of speed. I armed the heavy cannon housed in a compartment towards the back of the ship. The top of the vessel opened up as the Vermillion funneled power into the weapon. Looking at the giant V shaped screen in front of me, I tracked the remaining ships, appearing as tiny glowing dots with streaks of sky blue particles trailing behind them like shooting stars. They would reach us in less than a minute.

I saw an incoming call from the squad leader. I answered it.

“You’re dead, bird brain! You’ve got nowhere to run!” The squad leader bragged.

“Running!? Do you know who you’re fucking with?!” I hissed.

I heard laughter from their end.

We shot forward like a bullet. The cannon finished charging; I watched the orb of crackling, pulsating blue energy forming at the tip of the long barrel. The flickering light reflected off the bright red and black panels. The entire craft shook as if begging me to unleash the energy beam.

“A head-on charge!? You must have a death wish.”

I closed the channel. I’d let my weapons do the talking.

They made the mistake of bunching together as they fired lasers and rockets. I threw the craft on its side and unleashed the heavy cannon. A pillar of sapphire light so bright it could give a sun a run for its money erupted from the square shaped barrel. The recoil sent us flying back. Even with the screen’s automatic dimming, the brightness stung my eyes. I watched the massive beam engulf their ships and parts of several asteroids in the way, vaporizing them all. After a few seconds, the blast narrowed and died. There wasn’t much left of the enemy, just scorched debris here and there floating away from where the beam was. I saw a blip on the scanner.

One fighter remained. The squad leader that was talking shit.

I expected them to come at us, instead the pilot did a sharp U-turn and booked it in the opposite direction. I opened a com channel with him.

“This fucking bird is crazy! Get me out of here!” He shouted.

“Huh, you was talking all that good shit a second ago, what happened!? I thought I was dead!” I taunted.

I heard a high-pitched yelp from him as he realized who was calling him. Sounded like he just shat his pants. His retreating ship got faster, increasing the distance between us as he panicked.

Didn’t matter.

The Vermillion was faster.

Swift as a raptor, I caught up and annihilated him with the turrets and missiles. I checked my scanners. No other ships.

“Well, that could’ve gone better,” I muttered as I let go of the controls.

I leaned back in my chair, adjusted my orange-red jacket, and took a deep breath. I felt my whole body relax as I spun around in my seat, looking at the red and black room around me. My foot kicked the hexagonal cryo box containing the severed head of my last bounty. That was the whole reason I was out here to begin with, before the mobsters crashed the party. I would need every credit I’d get from that bounty, and more. A lot more. Todd had already undone his harness and his green eyes searched for his glasses that were less than five inches from him. He’s a penguin like me, only scrawnier and with a longer beak and minus the long red hair.

“Here,” I said, handing him his glasses.

My body chose this moment to start another fucking coughing fit, like I had just smoked a carton of cigs.

“Y-you should get that looked at,” Todd whispered while adjusting the purple beanie he wore on his head.

“I don’t get sick.”

“You’ve been coughing like that for the past month and a half, Edgy,” Todd answered in his usual soft voice.

I swear he sounds like every stereotypical high school nerd that gets his lunch money stolen by bullies.

“I’m fine,” I said, before going back to my seat.

Truth be told, I was getting a headache again.

“Y-you almost crashed the ship just now.”

“I don’t get sick,” I answered, glaring at him with my red eyes.

He shrank in his chair and glanced at Jeff for support. Jeff’s a penguin too, only chubbier than both of us and with a much shorter beak and long blond hair he keeps tied back, but he enjoys gelling parts in the front. No idea why. Jeff’s blue eyes swept the two of us as he reached into his half-eaten bag of nachos and then crunched a bunch of them. I guess even a high octane space battle is no match for weed munchies.

“Jeff, don’t you think he should get that checked?” Todd asked while using his anime T-shirt to clean his glasses.

Jeff shrugged, “if he says he good, he good.”

Todd’s shoulders drooped. “Fine, what now?”

“We’re gonna cash in this bounty,” I said before smiling, “and Todd, go change your pants.”

He rolled his eyes and pouted in his seat.

I smirked.

Then I heard something that wiped that grin off my face. A bright red warning flashed on the main console. I spun around and checked it. Rift detected. Something big was coming out of subspace near our position. The absolute last goddamn thing we needed. A massive silver, chrome, and gold ship that dwarfed mine emerged from a flash of light and electricity.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” I growled.

A cruiser. The Golden Sevens were so pissed off at me for what happened on Callisto, they sent a fucking cruiser. Any other time, I would’ve felt flattered, but not now.

“What do we do, bro!?” Jeff asked.

As the giant craft moved to intercept us and its long range cannons armed, I thought about what to do. Our shields were still down, and the heavy cannon needed time to recharge. No way in hell was I taking them on, not with the ship as banged up as it was.

“We’re getting the hell out of here!” I said as I put in the coordinates for a random planet far away from where I intended to go.

The Vermillion locked in the destination, and I pressed the button to launch us into subspace. In a blink, we found ourselves in a constantly shifting tunnel of vibrant shapes and colors. Todd uses a specific word for all the crazy shapes seen in this sub level of reality, fractals. It looked like something you’d expect to see on a crazy acid trip.

While we raced through this dimension at speeds faster than light, I planned a course to our desired location in the most roundabout way possible. Even if they could lock in our destination on this jump, they’d have no idea where we were really going.

At least, that’s what I hoped.

2- EDGY

---

I woke to hearing a knock. I opened my eyes and saw a night sky with a purple gas giant above. The view was breathtaking. Yeah, we were on Iru again. Time to collect on that bozo’s frozen head. The knock happened again.

“Yo Edgy, we here bro,” Jeff said.

“Alright, I’ll be out in a sec.”

I barely remembered crashing on the bed. I knew I came in here because my headache was getting worse. Looking up at the night sky above, I realized I set the panels to display the outside world, before I passed out. I sat up, my whole body aching. I felt like a zombie. Fortunately, I had the perfect solution. I opened the small mini fridge beside the bed. Clouds of vapor escaped it as the tray came out and showed the three remaining frosted cans of Nuclear Pegasus. When I had to use the emergency stash, I knew things were bad. This energy drink was my favorite, and finding it in the EdgeWorlds proved challenging; only interdimensional traders stocked it, and sometimes, even they couldn’t get it.

My legs felt like they were caked in cement, so I needed the extra kick. I cracked open the frosted black and green can and threw my head back. You could taste the sugar, but it didn’t dominate, and there was a slightly balanced hint of bitterness. Despite it looking green like it came out of a nuclear waste barrel, its tasty. It kicked in almost immediately, like a giant shot of adrenaline. I shot out of bed after that. My room appeared to be ransacked with random clothes, both dirty and clean, scattered all over. I left the bed unmade and noticed some crushed beer and energy drink cans by the trash bin.

I looked at the desk ahead of me and the sleek, angular blue ship model kit sitting there. That ship was like mine and had the long thin neck and angular, aggressive V shaped face with a menacing visor. It also had the same design for the thruster units. Long arms jutted out from the sides of the body that branched into four smaller arms, each ending in long pointed blades that generated the energy for flight. The ship’s thrusters were bigger and much longer than mine. This was the Azure Flash, a true Gentoo class ship made by actual penguins, unlike the replica I had. She was a gorgeous vessel built for high-speed combat and belonged to one of the most respected and loved pilots in the EdgeWorlds, a penguin named Ace Starborne. Looking at the other models and figures I had of it, I wished I had room in the budget for another one, but money was beyond tight right now. I was playing tag with my money and I was it.

Grabbing my jacket, I stumbled into the bathroom and the moment I entered, the dull orange lights on the counter and behind the mirror activated. I looked up at my reflection. Even after cleaning off the blood from the gunfight I was in prior to the space battle, I somehow looked worse than before. Even my typically disheveled red hair appeared even more unkempt, and I noticed a slight greenish tint to the whites of my eyes. I thought about getting that looked at, but because of some major fuck ups, unforeseen expenses, and the mob hounding me, I was no longer paying the monthly bill for my horrific death and dismemberment insurance, which also covered doctors’ visits. Seemed like a waste anyway, since I never get sick. After checking the mirror for a bit, I exited the room. Jeff was standing there, still wearing his nacho stained hoodie. He looked annoyed about something.

“What?”

“Sorry, Todd keeps cheating in Stardust Belt Beatdown!” Jeff pouted.

“Button mashing won’t cut it,” Todd warned, appearing around the corner.

“Are you both coming?” I asked, while fixing my jacket.

“Yeah, I want to see if they got any good shrooms at that one shop,” Jeff said. “I’m fresh out, man.”

I rolled my eyes. “Dude, we are tight on money. You need to sell some of that weed you grow in your room.”

“Oh yeah, don’t worry. I’m plannin’ on selling some of that,” Jeff replied.

I turned to Todd as he put on his glasses.

“Why are you going?”

“Oh, I just want to see if they have a used copy of Stardust Belt Beatdown 2,” Todd said.

If we weren’t hurting for cash right now, I would’ve been okay with him buying it, but the money from this bounty was going to be split between ship repair bills and whatever bullshit the doctors were going to charge me with.

“Fine, but absolutely no purchases unless I tell you,” I ordered. Todd nodded, Jeff shrugged. “Oh, and keep your eyes peeled. Golden Sevens probably got goons here too. Don’t draw too much attention.”

Todd and Jeff, like they shared the same brain cell, raised their eyebrows and glared at me.

I sighed and laughed, “whatever, you know what I mean.”

Penguins are an endangered species. That happens when you tend to not venture beyond your home planet and it randomly gets destroyed one day. A trio of penguins were going to stand out.

“Lemme see if I can convince them to pay me more for this bozo’s head,” I muttered.

I grabbed the cryo pod, and we exited the ship. I looked back at the ship and saw just how badly that coughing fit had fucked up the old girl. One cannon was completely destroyed and missing, the other flattened like a soda can in a hydraulic press. Replacing them was not gonna be cheap. Cursing under my breath, I turned my back and looked at the city ahead of us.

Cliff City earned its name from being built atop the many rocky cliffs around the area, with long bridges spanning between the city districts and glass floors. A sea of dense blue-gray clouds and fog hid the ground beneath us. Silver and rust-colored buildings rose high into the air and reflected the light from the moon. Aliens of all types roamed the streets and so did various hover cars at different altitudes. The temperature was just right, with a pleasant breeze. The place’s reputation for being a spot to unwind made it even more weird that it housed a thriving criminal underworld.

We crossed a giant bridge, but I couldn’t look down due to feeling nauseous. I heard Todd gulp anxiously next to me and I saw him peering over the side of the bridge we were on. Why he did that is beyond me. I’m shocked he tagged along. Todd rarely leaves the ship and doesn’t interact with people much. I don’t blame him, people are always trouble.

Upon crossing the bridge, the energy drink’s effects diminished, and I began breathing heavily, as if exhausted, despite the short distance. I shook it off and saw the bounty office ahead. Positioned above the logo was a hologram of a six-armed alien dressed like a cowboy wielding laser pistols and flashing a wanted poster. The inside was pretty classy, like a high end casino, leather couches, glass tables, and a full bar and a cigar bar too. That cigar smell engulfed the entire room. It reminded me of the nights I spent chilling with the gang I used to be part of. That felt like forever ago. Todd grimaced at the odor. I walked up to the front counter towards the fancy looking android dressed as a bartender.

The moment I entered, a dizzying sensation overcame me, and my stomach churned. I thought I was gonna vomit.

“A-are you alright!?” Todd asked, putting his flipper on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. “I’m fine.”

I kept walking towards the counter, but with each step I felt worse and worse. The android’s polished gold body reflected everything around her like a mirror as she turned towards me. No face, only a black screen with green eyes and a mouth.

“How may we be of service?” She asked.

I could hardly hear her over the ringing in my ear holes.

“Collecting the bounty on Goranth,” I said, struggling to fight back the urge to vomit.

I sat the box on the counter and pulled the switch, and the side panels opened, showing Goranth’s severed head. The android’s face glowed and a series of beams shot out and began scanning.

“Confirmed. We will throw in an extra three hundred credits due to how fast you completed the bounty. Are you satisfied with that offer?”

Two thousand three hundred credits wasn’t too bad. Wish it was double that, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“Sure,” I said while handing her my credit chip.

The android’s face changed to a smiling one as she took my chip and then plugged it into a slot in the opposite arm. Her face revealed the progress of the transfer. In just two seconds, it finished, and she gave me the chip while removing the head from the container.

“Thank you so much for your business. You have also earned a token complimentary drink from the bar. We’ve already placed it on your credit chip.”

“Sweet,” I said to the android.

Having a drink right now may not have been wise, but a free one is still a free one. I stumbled towards the bar, carrying the empty pod. When I was about halfway there, my stomach kicked like a pissed off mule and I dropped the container.

I couldn’t hear Jeff and Todd because of the ringing in my head. Spinning intensified, my body felt weighed down. I felt something traveling up my throat. The last thing I remembered was a powerful blast of ultra green mucus shooting from my beak, resembling a power washer.

Then it all went black.